Baby cuffs
by Deathlylover
Summary: Due to a few miscommunications and misunderstandings, L and B are babysitting twins. The problem is that neither of them know how to babysit-and L has never even talked to a four year old! Will they be able to survive the crazy (and perverted) four year olds? Rated M because...well I feel I need to rate all my stories that way, I can't seem to control what my hand writes.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This story was originally a role play done with Eloritia. Try her stories if you enjoy this-she's an amazing writer!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except Lilac and Becky-those two are Eloritia's and mine.**

* * *

_Third pov:_

Dark silver and bloody red eyes both were currently gazing at two tiny creatures. Creatures that they have had no experience with, creatures that can be very frightening. What kind of creatures? Four year old twins.

Mr. Yagami is a very busy man, and L respects that...but that however does not allow him to simply make such mistakes. Mr. Yagami promised his sister he'd babysit her two twins for some time. But L wouldn't give him time off. So due to a mess of events: L and B are babysitting these two creatures of mystery.

Why is B here? L brought him here from the mental hospital to help with the Kira investigation. It's only L, B, and the crea-twins. The twins. Watari is at Wammy's sorting out a mishap.

Twins are always mischief makers, and it's quite a belief that this case will be no different. "What do we do with them?" L's voice is questioning.

"I've never babysat anyone." B responds. The two girls look like they're grinning. They're four years old, have long hair, and green eyes. "You are the world's greatest detective?"

"-World's three greatest detectives." L is quick to correct him. "But as you know, I am not social. I have never interacted with a four year old before." The older raven stands on one foot, lazily staring at the twins still. B rolls his eyes, and leans towards L. "What were they thinking leaving them on unsociable detective and serial killer?" B whispers, sounding confused.

"They don't know that last part, and they are very unintelligent in leaving them with us.." They start crying. L picks up one of the twins. He holds her by her hips, and she dangles. It very much resembles how he'd hold a book.

"Lawliet!" B shouts. Although the red eyed B was a serial killer, he spent much more time in public than L ever did. Not to mention they're crying even more now.. "Yes, BB? Also, don't use that name...they could be bugged. Little spies sent from Kira himself." B and already told L about his eyes.

B's eye twitches, in shock that L is truly that unsociable. "Put her down now!" B is given a questioning look from L, who now sets the girl down. "I am a hundred percent sure I did something wrong now.."

"You are right. Are you that unexperienced with children?" The red eyed raven walks to the girl that L just put down. "Are you alright?" The girl nods, and glares at L, but her sister is giggling. The giggling girl, entertained by L's failed attempt at picking up her sister, is Lilac. The one L had picked up is Becky.

"Good." B looks at L as if to ask 'what now?', but L didn't seem to know either. "May I ask what I did wrong earlier? I would like to know."

Lilac cackles, she's a strange little girl... Becky stares at B. "L, you never try to hold kids like things. Especially your way of doing that was...hmm...how to say it? Not safe?" then B turns to Lilac. "What's so funny?" Lilac simply grins evilly at B. Yes...there has to be something seriously wrong with her. "Why not? I'm assuming it hurts?"

Becky moved farther from her sister, and no one could blame her for doing so. "L, you know...that girl reminds me of someone.." he walks closer to the cackling Lilac, and crouches to eye level.

"I had noticed that as well, she does seem like someone." now L walked to the girl in question, and crouched to eye level as well.

There's a moment of calm confusion, before Lilac jabs B in the stomach as hard as she can. "What the?!" B refrains from cursing, and immediately walks away from Lilac. Not from pain obviously, but surprise. "She reminds me of myself. Definitely."

Lilac gets up, and stumbles after B. "Don't walk away from me!" her bright green eyes shine brightly as she yells at B.

L watches in interest as B's eyes widen in surprise. Becky mimics L's position, and watches as well.

"What?!" this causes Lilac to huff, and cross her little arms. "You heard me." she glares at B.

* * *

_B's pov:_

For a moment, I find myself thinking 'cute'. The thought quickly enough disappears, and I walk to the little girl. Crouching, and tilting my head so my red eyes are clearly in view. "Brave?"

But still, the little girl continues to stand there, unmoved by my eyes. "Think your eyes are gonna scare me? Guess again!" she tugs at my shirt, and frowns. "Feed me!" I chuckle, and attempt to release her clutch on my shirt.

"And what do you want?" she thinks for a moment, lightly biting her lip in thought. "Jam! Duh!" she tries to imitate my naturally dark chuckle. "Now."

I look at L. 'Help me' my eyes plead. He simply states, "The jam is in the fridge." and stands up with Becky. He holds her hand in his usual fashion, and it dangles slightly. I sigh, and look back at the evil girl. No help from L, not this time.

Lilac tugs at my shirt again, and I get up. I walk to the kitchen, Lilac following me all too excitedly. L and Becky follow as well. Though, their footsteps are light. "Shhh." That was Becky...are they trying to stalk us? They aren't the best spies...

I look back at Lilac, who is glaring at me impatiently, and then L. "What?" he pressed a thumb to his lips, clearly amused by all of this. "Nothing, continue."

When we reach the kitchen, Lilac tugs at my shirt once again, and I try to release her hands. "I'll give you jam, just let my shirt go." she lets go, then holds her hands out for jam. Impatient little brat...

"You better not eat any of it, or else." she threatens. "Or else?" I walk to the fridge, and chuckle. "Or else I'll tell everyone about your crush on Ryuzaki." my chuckle stops, and I nearly choke on my breath. "WHAT?!" my face heats up, and I glance at L. Lilac starts chuckling her own dark way, and ends up evilly laughing.

My eyes widen. This girl is extremely insane...bold, and brave..possibly just stupid. The crazed girl cocks her head. "You really do, don't you?" it's more of a statement though. "N-No!"

I open the fridge, and start searching for jam. How did SHE find out?! "I bet you're wondering how I found out. It's simple really-" I grab the jam as she speaks, seemingly reading my mind, and close the fridge. She's mocking an innocent tone. "-Your reaction told me. I had no clue." THIS GIRL! I nearly drop the jam, and she smiles in a falsely sweet way. As if she could ever be sweet...

I resist hitting my head on the fridge door, and hand her the jam. "Should I say thanks?" she snatches the jam away. Spunky...

Becky runs up to Lilac, plastic cuffs in hand, and cuffs Lilac and herself together. "You're under arrest, Sis! You know your rights.." Becky mutters something under her breath. Lilac looks annoyed, and opens her jam jar with an angry 'pop' of the lid. The lid falls to the floor, and my eye twitches.

I stare in confusion, and L starts softly laughing, darkly. I laugh a bit as well. "Should I cuff you to me, B? Show them how it is really done?" he takes a step towards me from the shadows.

I stop laughing now. "You can try.." my voice is low. "Try? I will succeed, as always." he darts to me, and tackles me to the ground. I fall with a loud 'thud' and the twins watch in complete awe.

"Hey!" I shout, I hadn't actually expected him to do it. I yelp when I'm pinned down, and he moves to my ear. "I told you." he holds my wrists in one hand, and pulls the cuffs out with the other hand.

I'm blushing now, I can feel it. That girl was a hundred percent right. "Don't you dare.." he cuffs us together, still hovering over me. "You see girls-" he breathes into my face as he speaks. I can clearly smell the scent of strawberries in his breath. "-You use your opponent's feelings against them, if you can."

He smirks at me, and the twins nod vigorously. I look away. "Evil one." what is he teaching those kids? "You're the one being cuffed and under me, which suggest that you are the evil one. I am justice after all.." the twins inch closer slowly.

"Why am I under you?" I stare at him. "Because you're the emotional one...Beyond Birthday." he whispers, so the twins don't hear. Shivers run down my spine. "Don't do that again...GET OFF ME!"

He realizes that those girls are only FOUR years old?! "I'm teaching, so no." theoretically, I could flip us over, but I'm not sure it would would. "Are you comfortable laying on me or something?"

"Very." he starts blowing hot air into my ear softly, and I blush cherry red. I flip us over after taking a deep breath. He doesn't protest, and the twins stare thoughtfully.

"And can I ask what you were trying to get by this?" I hold my chained hand up, and the chain dangles tauntingly. "Enjoyment? It was rather amusing." he deadpans, hints of amusement in his voice though. I'm annoyed by him playing on my feelings.

I take another deep breath, and feel the strong urge to hit him. "Amusement?" he looks into my ruby red eyes. "Exactly." he's enjoying this far too much... "Why?" for a second my tone is sad, but I quickly change it to an ice one.

"Don't take it the wrong way." he smiles softly at me, but only for a second, then it's gone as fast as it came. He tries to get up, and I get off him.

I feel terrible, but I don't show it. "Can you uncuff me now?"

"Mmm, no. They're chained together, so why not us?" he points to the twins, who are currently chasing each other. At least they look happy... "Because-" I cut myself off.

As if reading my mind, he states, "We should be happy too." I shrug, and am quick to change the subject. "So when will they return for those girls?" he thinks for a bit. "It could be any time. I lost the key, but Mr. Yagami has the spare key. We could be chained a minute, or possibly a week." a smirk spreads across his lips. "What?! You can't be serious!" how will I survive cuffed to him like this?!


	2. Bad morning, yaoi, and jam theft

**AN: First off, this would have been posted just five minutes before today (or yesterday now I suppose) ended! But...it wasn't because my *insert mad cussing here* Internet crashed and spell check won't SHUT UP...*Sobs in corner* Spell check and Internet teamed up to make me miss my dead line! No more dead lines for me! *Runs to my B for comfort***

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the twins. Those belong to my B and I.**

* * *

-L-

When we wake up, it's because of the twins jumping up and down on us while shouting; "Yaoi, Yaoi, Yaoi!" those...creatures again. B, beside me, rubs his eyes and glares at the strange, little forms of life on us. Are they ever tired? Why do some strange people call these creatures...blessings?

B bolts up, now realizing what they are shouting. "How did you learn what that means? And how did you get in here?!" "Did you pick the lock on the door?" they don't answer any of our question, instead asking one of their own. "So who's mommy and who's daddy?"

I answer that quickly in a deadpan, it's so obvious to me. "I'm dad." the twins giggle. "So...how did you find out about that, and how did you get in here?" they smirk at us. "Lilac and I picked the lock. Internet is a wonderful place, isn't it?" Becky sounds proud.

I poke B in the gut softly. "I'm a hundred percent sure they're little devils now..." B glances at me. "Agreed." then he turns back to the evil twins. "Waaaaait, did B just agree that L is daddy? That makes B mommy! Oooh, so that means I will be wearing ear plugs a lot more..." Lilac states, then plugs her ears as an example. I pale, and so does B.

"I didn't agree with-" B shuts up, thinking now. Did she really mistake B's agreement as him agreeing with my earlier statement? Selective hearing? And I doubt either of us want to think about the reason behind the last thing she said...

"Oh, you just now thought about it?" Lilac asks, tilting her hear slightly. Becky whispers about future spying, cameras, and even mics to Lilac. I watch Lilac nod enthusiastically. "L, i don't like this. Totally don't." B whimpers to be, sounding slightly scared.

Lilac starts to burst out laughing for some strange reason. "I don't like this either.." it's only now that I notice my arms are around him. 'Well that gives off the wrong impression.' I pull him closer to me. "Can you two kindly get out and wait in the hallway? We need to change clothes."

They both pout, and leave. I think I see Lilac wink before she leaves. Trick of the mind? Door closes, and we both let out a sigh of relief.

"Well? What will we do with them now?" B falls back onto the bed with me. "It could be going worse...we simply have to deal with them until comes back...a week at top. It's already day two.." I hold him close, he's warm.

"A week? I'm worried more about what will happen after he comes back. I don't know what they'll say or do after he returns..." I sigh. "We will get blackmail on them or bribe them." I state simply.

"We would make horrible parents." B chuckles at my remark. "We would. It would look comical trying to blackmail them. No guarantee that bribing them would work." I think on that for a moment. "It would if we did both. We bribe them with a five minute video of us making out, then blackmail them about telling their parents they're yaoi fans." I grin, and chuckle.

"I'm not sure about video. That would be painful if someone else was to discover it. They could use it against us...but that would work. And blackmailing too." I nod at this. "We'd simply delete the video after they saw it." I was not being serious about the video, but apparently he didn't catch that..Hn.

I suddenly start to hear little chuckles on the other side of the door. "L?"

"You know B-" I whisper, "We could do it right now. They will be opening that door soon...it doesn't have to be fake, but.." I smile and chuckle. He death stares back at me, then at the ceiling. "Do whatever you want.."

"Okay, but fake or real? I don't kind either way, but there's only five seconds or do to choose..." I hover over him for the act. B simply remains silent, arms crossed over his chest. His gaze turns to me again.

The door burst open, twins leaping..or flying in it seems. My hands are tangled in his hair as I pretend to kiss him, lips really less than an inch apart. The twins gasp and clap amusedly. They believe it, good.

B glances over my shoulder at them, and they just barely seek to catch it. "Wait...are you two really kissing or not?" she deadpans the question, and I fake a moan. I hate these girls... B bites his lip lightly, and I lock eyes with him now. B now looks mad. "What are you two doing in here? Didn't we tell you to go out of the room?"

'Scary mommy.' I shudder. I pull back and look at the twins. "Go back to your room kids, mommy hates mornings." a smirk claims my features. "Oh, and your parents wouldn't want to know you're yoai fans, would they?" they gulp, then run out, giggling again.

"We could continue, but I think the twins need breakfast." I tease.

"We need to find something to break These handcuffs with." B states as he rolls off the bed, and I frown. "You are not damaging my handcuffs."

B lands on the floor with a loud thump, mumbling how it helps him to think. "B-Chan, are you okay?"

He sits up. "I'm okay...chan?" he sighs, and I smirk again. "Yes, B-Chan." a small, undeniably cute yawn escapes his pale lips. "You said something about breakfast for those little devils?"

"What do devils eat? Souls?" sleepily getting up from the warm, cozy, tempting bed, I rub my eyes. "Those probably do. Or our patience." he replies, chuckling softly.

B follows me as I walk to the kitchen. Chain is long enough to hit the floor, so he boredly starts lifting his wrist and then dropping it.

When we get to the kitchen, the devils are already there. "Hello, Brats.." I mumble quietly. B chuckles very lightly at that.

Then I overhear something about an email, and sneak closer to the whispering twins. Something about an email and ...they haven't noticed us yet. I hold the chain up so it doesn't drag on the floor, and we're very careful not to rattle it.

"B-But we can't sis! We're gonna be in so much trouble! I mean first the email...then the jam and cake stashes?!" Becky heatedly whispers to her sister.

B's eyes are bubbling pools of extremely raged red at the mention of his jam stash...more so since it's being mentioned my the twins...

They are going to be in a lot of trouble, and B is going to break loose hell on them...though they're little devils, so I'm not sure just how effective that is...


End file.
